Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
