nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
