Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize