The best revenge is premature balding
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
