just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
