that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
