He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
