Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
