So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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