Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
