I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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