very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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