so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
