You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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