the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
