the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Panties = found
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize