i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
