dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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