I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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