I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
