Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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