the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
