Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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