And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
