Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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