Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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