I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
