Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
