man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
