does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
