i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
