I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
