just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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