My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
