Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Oh god it's open bar.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
