I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm just crazy horny about you
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize