He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
