Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
