Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
