Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
