He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
