my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
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