we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
