I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
