some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
