im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
