you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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