my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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