you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
