Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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