i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So vagazzling was a success
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
