Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
BRING THE BAGELS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
