Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
