i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
