I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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