My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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