I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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