if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
