when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
