I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
