Having a random hookup so left but love u
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
