How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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