Say something about gay babies.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
