i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
