Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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